I have a few sucky events happen this past two days. I've been up then down then up again and eventually back down. I found out that Eddie and I have been on a break since September and that is why things have been weird between us. So I've been trying to figure out what is really the problem with us and after much texting back and forth, time spent in solitude and a heart to heart with Bruce, I realized that its all boils down to 3 letters. S E X. You have got to be freakin kidding me. Have we become a world where sex is it. If it is withheld from us then we go crazy. I hate that. Mostly because it makes people like me who are not having sex have to endure frequent heartache and sometimes even heartbreak because we meet guys who claim to be what they are not and they also claim that they can wait until they actually have to wait. You basically wasted 9 months of my life. I am 27 years old and I hope to be married one day. I don't need to be in a relationship with a person who can't be honest. If you like sex then tell me Nik, I like sex and I'm used to getting it on a regular basis. I like you too and I will do my best to hold out but I know it won't be easy. Then I can kindly say, I don't want you to do anything that you don't want to do. If you can't imagine being in a relationship without sex then lets just agree that this won't work and we can both go about our business. This way no one gets hurt and you can find someone else who can give you all the sex you want. Wow, I almost am back on top again. Writing is very therapeutic. It allows me to get all my thoughts out of my brain and I don't have to worry about whether or not it is grammatically correct.
Questions: Will I ever meet a guy that I am physcially attracted to and vice versa who doesn't have an issue with saving all sexual activity until marriage? Where are these guys?
Prayer: Lord, I love you more than any one in this world. What you think of me is more important than what others think. I fear you and want nothing more than to please you and live according to your word. It hurts when others try to make you feel bad for wanting to do whats right. I have been enduring this pain my whole life. You said that it won't last always and I trust that when that day comes for me to stand before you, everything I ever did for you will all be worth it in the end. I just need your help to make it through while I'm down here. Sex seems to be everywhere I turn around music, movies, songs, books, billboards, etc. Its hard to escape it. I need your strength to make it. I will admit that I like Eddie and it hurts. Part of me wishes he would have a revelation and realize that I am worth more than 2 minutes of physical pleasure. But if you don't want him in my life than please tell me so I can move on, but if you do please show me that too. Thank you. In Jesus Name I pray.
Amen
No comments:
Post a Comment