My fast starts tomorrow. I'm so excited and nervous about what God is going to reveal to me. I chose 3 specific things to ask him about. My job, my living arrangements, and Eddie.
My Job
-Almost anyone who knows me knows that I am not head over heels in love with my profession nor location. I am however trying to learn to be open to the possibility that this is where and/or what I will be doing. So I guess I'm trying to find out what is my purpose career wise.
My Living Arrangements
-We all know that I am currently a single, 27 year old female who lives at home. I know sad. SMH. I really thought I would be out of SC and on my own by now, but I'm not. So I'm trying to find out if and when I get to move and where. Am I moving down the street, across town, another state or across country. *shrugs shoulders*
Eddie
-Anyone who knows me knows that Eddie is a pseudonym. I learned that word in 8th grade on the pre exit exam. Whoo Hoo. Anyway, there are moments when I feel like being with him is holding me back and keeping me from my destiny. Shucks, who needs dead weight that you have to carry. I need people who are moving forward and trying to progress like me. Then there are moments when I feel sad because I see so much potential in this young man and I know that he possess deep within everything that he needs to be the best husband, father, man, and servant he could be. It just saddens my heart to know that he could be throwing it all away because of self indulgences. So, I wanna know if its time to cut him lose forever (like a life time) or for a brief time (until God has a chance to work on both of us as individuals. ) I need some work too.
Those are my three main things that I want to ask God during this time. But I am still going to allow myself to be open to the things that he wants to address. He might have a new and different game plan for my fast. So I have to be obedient to his direction. I'm sick of allowing the enemy to steal my joy day after day. I'm ready to do something about it. Put my foot to the plow and not look back.
Dear God,
As I approach this time of fasting and praying, I want to say thank you. Thank you for giving me this opportunity to seek you and learn from you. I want you to open my heart, my mind, and soul and let nothing hinder me from serving and seeking you. I love you and I don't always do right by you and I ask for your forgiveness this day. Help me to see the good in this mess/test so I can have a message/testimony that will be a lamp to those around me. Help me to not be anxious about my future (getting married, having children) but be patient no matter what. Thank you Lord. In Jesus name,
Amen
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